I have been thinking a lot lately about the nature of relationships. I have been using open source software for years now and it seems that the theme that under girds everything I have done has been to foster the growth and well being of relationships. Let me explain.
Years ago I began using phpBB, an open source bulletin board software written in php (hence the name) that was a robust solution to a problem I had seemingly identified; that there was no one central meeting place for the people I knew to come together and offer or request information. From prayer requests to help with the same software, phpbb served well in handling those needs. I began to see the power in connectedness. This software allowed people to remain connected despite being miles apart.
Clich? though it may sound, the relationships began to mature until one day when I realized that the relationships I had worked so hard to foster were dying away. Folks with whom I had a virtual connection were now but strangers lingering behind a screen name.
That stuck with me as I began to work with a new piece of software I thought would be the solution to creating and nurturing enduring relationships, and since it was built around the same principle (in fact it was developed from the original phpbb source code) I thought it would be the end-all solution. PhpNuke has been far from that. The simple reason is that people?s families kept getting in the way.
Which brings me to why I am even taking the time to mention this in an open-source blog. One of the oft-touted characteristics of the open-source community is that it is, in fact, a community. Support is regularly referred to as rapid because it is handled by someone who has a desire to see the software work and further the impact that it can make if it is functioning as intended.
But at what expense? Whose daughter wants mommy to trade the computer monitor for a picnic? Whose spouse is wondering what time her husband will stop coding and come to bed. I hope not mine.
So this topic of relationships has been circling in my cerebrum for some time now. Simultaneously I have chosen to undertake the daunting task of creating learning communities in my own classroom. I toyed with a number of ways to do so with a dozen or so open source software programs all supposedly interested in helping me create community. I will spare you the exhaustive list because the software itself is irrelevant; it is the underlying principle up for discussion.
The bottom line to this is simply that my own thoughts on relationship are centered on a need for face-to-face connectedness. I am not saying that there is no place for online community, rather that there needs to be time and attention given to intentional relationship building in a live environment in person.
This is not a new idea, though. I can recall some years ago before the World Wide Web reached mainstream popularity I would fire up my 8088 machine and stare at a blue screen while my computer dialed the local BBS. Sometimes I would wait hours for one of the 5 phone lines to disconnect so that I could connect. There was no call queue, just me and my amateur war-dialing to ensure maximum chance of a ringing sound that would liven up my world merely at its sound. One of the announcements that would regularly popup on login would be a list of ?GT?s?. These Get-Togethers were designed to put faces to screen names. It was always an interesting event to see folks walk hesitantly towards the picnic benches at the designated pavilion with nametags bearing their self-proclaimed identity. Introductions were made, albeit very uncomfortably, food was consumed, and then mom would come pick me up. I only went to a couple of these ?GT?s?, I always felt better when I was hiding behind the wall of anonymity offered me by a screen name.
I say all that to say this, you and I as educators have to make building and nurturing relationships an intentional part of our day. I tell my students from day 1 that they are ?mine? and that I am ?yours?. We are in this together.
Let us be purposeful about relationship. I daresay it surpasses the effect of even the most current of technologies. We all have a driving need to know someone, and be known by someone. I do not believe that can happen outside of a face-to-face encounter.
The question I have to ask myself is, are my relationship priorities in order? Am I offering my wife and daughters the husband and daddy they deserve? Or am I wondering what?s going on in the blogsphere/emailsphere/podcastosphere?
So here?s to a reordered set of priorities, intentional relationship building, and some sort of ?GT? sometime soon.
Coffee anyone?
Open Source Classroom dot com Podcast Episode 7 - The nature of relationships in open source [6:16m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
Jennifer W says:
Hello
I appreciate your thoughts — your frankness — your convictions. I emphasize with them all.
It is a hard thing to juggle both face 2 face and cyber relationships — but I am finding that the f2f are so much more important in the long run.
Luckily, I have friends that exist in both — but the friends who advice I seek, who’s judgement I trust, who know me — are the people I see weekly, daily, etc.
And, since I have left the workforce at a business, and am now working at home, I truly COVET the face2face interaction and need it ==
Finally — when your thoughts take you to wonder if you are being the hubby/daddy that they deserve– you PROBABLY are. You will need to worry when you don’t even consider that a possibility. That is when you probably need to reorganize your time.
I would like to invite you to read CoolCat’s Blog at http://coolcatteacher.blogspot.com/2006/09/perspective.html — sort of the same wavelength you are on.
God bless you!!
Jennifer
11th September 2006 at 3:27 pm
Eyes Right » Blog Archive » Zero sum time and priorities says:
[...] Chris Craft asks some very important questions about time spent blogging and in the virtual world, and the critical need our families, friends, and even casual acquaintances have for us in the face-to-face (F2F) world. He writes, in the context of time spent blogging: But at what expense? Whose daughter wants mommy to trade the computer monitor for a picnic? Whose spouse is wondering what time her husband will stop coding and come to bed. I hope not mine. [...]
11th September 2006 at 12:03 am
Open Source Classroom » Blog Archive » A new favorite blog… says:
[...] This a blog about how to revolutionize your classroom by tapping into the wide range of open source software packages and web resources. For anyone who loves education… « The nature of relationships in open source [...]
11th September 2006 at 6:57 am
Miguel Guhlin says:
Thanks for sharing, Chris! You brought back memories of those GTs we had at Pizza Hut. Wow. And, meeting those folks WAS pretty awesome. I still remember meeting Pandora, an attractive older woman (at 14, everyone was older) was could argue convincingly. It was my first experience with a smart, bold woman…and I treasure the memory!
But like many others, I found those online experiences convenient to “turn on” and “turn off.”
In time, I’ve changed my opinion…I am never without relationships, whether face to face or online.
11th September 2006 at 10:26 pm
Open Source Classroom » Blog Archive » Moved to tears says:
[...] A while back I posted on the nature of relationships. Recently my theories have been put to the test. [...]
11th September 2006 at 7:09 am
Open Source Classroom » Blog Archive » Podcast Episode 10 - The obligatory show says:
[...] I have been debating the future of the open source classroom dot com podcast simply because life got in the way. If you’ve read my blog, especially my post about the nature of relationships, you’ll see that my God is my first responsibility, followed by my family, and then comes the rest of this fun stuff. That’s why I am writing this before the sun has even peeked out of it’s slumber. [...]
11th September 2006 at 7:29 am